Candyce's blog: "pain/rejection/loneliness"

My heart... feels like a playground these days one upon which fools gather.. to romp and play- not a care have they.. or seek to heed that which it holds... what it is it needs- just to take .. what they want..what they can use not seeing the grief caused... the pain....or abuse. My heart holds more then it should even now.. but why must it now and always.. be used as a playground.............. ~Candyce~

my dearest.... with pain filled eyes I’ve come to see- what’s beyond the illusions that have swallowed me.... no more to seek the painted smiles.. the facades of those who’ve known no trials- within the dark and rancid dream do I now realize what I’ve come to be. filled with hurt pain and grief for what the illusions had once promised me. for with such soured sweetness they mask- and hide.. that which it is.. my heart hoped to find. ~C~ (this one was inspired by something another dear friend wrote. After reading theirs.. I just wrote down what came to mind. Thanks for stoppin by.)

give me the pain so I might feel give me the pain so I know life is real give me the pain that now stabs at my heart because love didn’t want it it just tore it apart. give me the pain its wants me for me give me the pain my soul..let it eat.. So ..... just give me the pain its just easier that way.... ~Candyce~

If I am loved why does my heart ache why does my soul wish for the shadows of darkness if love is its to take - - - - why do I feel as though my chest is about to explode my thoughts are filled with fear and pain because of what my heart now knows - - - - If I am loved truly treasured without a doubt why do I now feel its that love that I’m without - - - - If I am loved why do I hurt. ~Candyce~

give me the darkness the shadows between give me the myst where none can be seen give me the hollows where the forsaken are found give me the tears that fall silent to the ground. hold me within and don't let me go for such are the places my heart now calls home. its safer to hide where none dare to see.. For none can hurt you when you're in the 'between'. ~Candyce~

leathery wings stretched out across the darkness of night long sleek body glides beneath razor sharp claws extend...in readiness as glowing eyes seek out its prey hungry is this one... hungry for the heart of a torn soul for she is the reaper of heartache that of which death itself with not touch- with the blackness of night she finds her prey for the low moan screams out to her calls to the heat within her blood like that of wanton pleasure it excites her.. hypnotizes her giving her an insatiable craving one that only the feel of the heart upon her lips will cool- she hears it yes... it is there the torn soul she sweeps down... claws out before it's aware she has it trapped beneath her savoring its essence with the flick of her tongue. mmmm... delicious - such sorrow.. such pain her mouth waters as her claws reach in closing about the heart.. still beating wildly savoring the coldness of it she tastes it with her tongue and shivers in anticipation for this is indeed a ripe one- she tosses back her head as the wetness of it passes her lips closing her eyes she gives a mournful howl into the night.... then looks back at her prey... *you are now free* ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Candyce~