Well, we heard from the bartenders in the last blog on their tips for guys. I figured that I would give my tips for you gals out there from the perspective of a guy. Feel free to critique me on any of these or even expand upon them…..due to my lack of dating experience I can only give some high level ideas on the topic J
* Men are Not Mind Readers:
Ok gals, this one should be really obvious, but for those of you that have not realized it; during the whole evolutionary process, men did not pick up the ability to read minds.
Do: If a guy approaches you and you might be interested….. Give him a hint that you are might be, it makes further conversation easier.
Don’t: Do not play the coy little cat and mouse game. This little game that some women think is cute is often a deterrent to future interaction. However, if you are not interested; there is always a nice way of letting them know. Of course some guys are rude and you have to take the rude approach…..but take the polite approach first.
* Making the First Move:
Do: I personally do not have any problem whatsoever with a woman approaching me and expressing interest. Some guys may find this a little forward…but I personally think it cuts through all the bullshit and you can actually start talking a little more clearly. I think the approach of walking up to them and saying “Hi” or making some lame compliment is a nice approach. Offer to buy them a drink……if they are a gentleman – he will decline and if he is interested, he will buy you one instead.
Don’t: Making the First Move does not mean walking up and grabbing their ass or crotch to express your interest (well unless you are just looking for sex) – this second approach might get my attention – but would not get the desired response.
* Talking about Previous Relationships:
Do: If you feel the need to talk about previous relationships, leave it light. If the topic comes up you can say that you were in one, but it just did not work out or you can even say that you just currently are not in one. Leave it short and sweet.
Don’t: This I believe talking about previous relationship is a NO-NO in almost any case. Most guys do not want to hear about your previous relationships, your previous sexual history, and “bad break ups” – especially when they first meet you. I think any of these talks can and should come a little later in the relationship.
* Manners:
Do: Treat this person that you are approaching with the same respect that you demand to be treated with. Think of the first meeting as an interview…you have only once to make your first impression and many people blow it the first time around.
Don’t: Do not play the game with them of testing them to see how much crap they would put up with. I have seen this game played before and it hardly ever turns out well.
* Conversation:
Do: Do not be afraid to talk about yourself and the things that you like or enjoy. Believe me, if a guy is interested in getting to know you – he will want to hear all about you……but make this an interactive conversation. I know I have been stuck in positions where I ended up feeling like I needed to carry the conversation because I was not getting much interaction. I do not believe it was because they were not interested or maybe evaluating whether they were interested….but I almost feel like they felt like they did not have anything to add or did not want to share much.
Don’t: Don’t just talk about yourself…..ask questions. Remember you are trying to get to know this person, so this conversation should be interactive. Also remember you are interviewing them too and they are trying to make a good first impression on you also.
* A New Beginning:
Do: Think of each time that you meet a potential person as a new beginning.
Don’t: Make sure that you leave all the personal baggage of previous relationships at the door behind you and try to give this new person a chance to get their foot in the door. To many times, people tend to take out bad previous experiences on everyone else they meet afterwards.
Overview: I can only speak from my personal observations….but I like it when a person:
1. Confident in the person that they are and presents themselves well
2. Can hold up their end of the conversation and talk about many topics
3. Likes to share little bits of information about themselves
4. Has no problem saying what is on their mind
5. Displays that they have goals and things that they want to achieve
6. A sense of humor is very cute and sexy
A nice smile, nice hair, and a good hiney are always a plus J
Ok that was my 2 cents……lets hear it now – lol.
