I fell down the hole in your paper heart.
It was the size of two chasms and three
where was I going with this?
My head is vacant. All the words fell out in a jumble.
Like a puzzle shook up in the box.
Pieces jammed where they don't belong.
Some upside down
Very much like my on again off again romance with
success.
Nah, not even that direction.
My on again off again romance with sleep.
One day she's cool
the next night she's inescapeable terror.
Strangulation in the sheets.
Dry sweat and wet gasps
tangled and creeping into every part of me.
Every last engorged pore
rupturing with bile and so much fear.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of waking.
Fear of every knife wielding stranger.
Blades of unkind. Chipped on bone and stoney hearts.
Sharpened on tears frozen immortal.
The everliving daylight of cruelty.
The cruelty we all know in an unloved heart.
Another hour of overtime.
Another highball.
Another headache.
Another sadistic grin as you twist it in another innocent.
You ask me what I fear.
No... you know. You ask me why
I ask you why not
frank like a child.
Unassuming like that dirty, bruised youth with the bleeding rectum
the one promised the candy of a better life
a land of opportunity
a life without tyranny and hatred.
The one with another bubble society popped around him
inhabbited by accidentally envious, willfully prideful, blindly wrathful xenophobes clawing for his pension
eyeing his lover
pissing on his lawn.
Love isn't just the answer
its the question.
That's the problem.
