Alrighty, well, recently, things have been kinda BLEH... nothing major exciting... same stuff different day ya know??
Last night I couldn't sleep.... My stomach hurt... stupid milk... but anyways, i was up pretty late, just thinking about random little things.... like, I miss attention... ya know, when you're dating someone, or with someone, and they give you all this attention? like, the world evolves around you? I miss that... I miss the emotional AND physical attention. And i'm not talking about sex. Jesus, sex is easy to get... I'm a chick... it's like, sex practically falls in my lap... I'm talking about cute things, like, ROMANCE, and LOVE... Things I'm convinced don't exist... Its what makes me miss Lindon... not so much HIM per se, as the relationship itself... Him I can do without... I miss the affection. I miss knowing I'm loved... I miss knowing someone was thinking of me. ANd not just in sexual ways... cuz god knows I've got a million and a half pervs wanting to fuck me or whatever.... (ok maybe not that many lmao) but the point is... sex is sex... easy to come by, easy to do, life goes on... I miss cuddles, and hugs, and kisses, affection.... Ya know how theres those times someone simply running their hands through your hair is just amazing?? I miss that... I miss those butterflies even when you're touched... or hugged... or kissed... and not the sloppy 'gonna fuck' kisses... I'm talking the cutesy romantic kisses.... (and hopefully by ppl who don't smoke cuz OMG thats soooo freaking gross)
I dunno, I go through this time to time... and miss the whole "monogamous relationship" thing... The kind where you would trully be upset if your s/o cheated on you.... i've been in like TWO of those relationships... literally... but i miss it... I'm not sure if i believe in the textbook concept of LOVE... but i miss MY idea of love... I've begun to wonder if that whole saying about there only being one true love in your life... I fucked mine up royally if it is true... cuz that relationship is never happening again... WHats sad, when i think of LOVE in my life, i think of him... I've truly begun to wonder if he's replaceable.... thats one depressing thought if he's not... too bad you can't really clone ppl.... oh well.... thats life....
