So I'm thinking about deleting this account. I know, all the lil drama whores threaten that constantly for attention. I'm not doing that. I'm just writing this as a way of trying to get my thoughts together. See, fubar used to be fun. I had a bunch of friends on here. We talked, we had fun, times were good. But now every time I log in, I'm left with nothing but negative feelings about it. Half the people I used to talk to aren't on here anymore. A bunch of the ones who are left are all caught up causing drama crap that's completely unnecessary. And the handful that don't fall into either of those categories... things on this site with them leave me feeling very.. underwhelmed. I'm not sure its still worth having an account here anymore.
This song, Out To Sea by Smile Empty Soul, fits how Ive been feeling lately almost exactly. Im too apathetic to find a widget for it, but if you want to hear it I know you can find it on playlist.com. Here are the lyrics anyways:
The air is cold im getting old
And going nowhere
This job is shit
I wanna quit
But money is scarce
I'm on my knees begging please but you don't care
Everyday seems the same
Another blank stare
All i want is to breathe
To feel like theres a part of me
That still believes
in all my hopes and my dreams
To know that theres a heart that beats inside of me
Again
I hate this town
And all the sounds
That drive me crazy
I wanna run and buy a gun
But im too lazy
I feel so dead
I feel so numb
Will nothing phase me
I check my pulse
But nothings there
I think im fading
All i want is to breathe
To feel like theres a part of me
That still believes
in all my hopes and my dreams
To know that theres a heart that beats inside of me
Again
Out to sea
Nothing but waves to surround me
And all i feel is pain
Its the only thing that's real
And all i need
Is time to reflect on the life i lead
I'm lost at sea
Nothing but ocean to drown me in
All i want is to breathe
To feel like theres a part of me
That still believes
in all my hopes and my dreams
To know that theres a heart that beats inside of me
Again
This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.
I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility.
After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.
On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.
After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.
And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration -- and post on Freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.
This may seem like an odd blog entry, but I currently find it fitting. This blog will be incomplete with out your participation. What I want is for each person who reads this to post a poem that means something to them, that touches them, and if they are willing, to also post WHY it affects them. To be fair, I'll start: