Kudzu is green,
My dog’s name is Blue
And I’m so lucky,
To have a sweet thang like you.
Your hair is like cornsilk,
A-flappin’ in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
And without all them fleas.
You move like a bass,
Which excites me in May.
You ain’t got no scales,
But I luv you anyway.
You have all your teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we’re in a crowd.
Still them fellers at work,
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve,
Such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duck tape,
Yo’re there for your man,
To patch up life’s troubles,
And stick’em in the can.
Yo’re as strong as a four-wheeler,
Racin’ through the mud,
Yet fragile as that singer,
Named Naomi Judd.
When you hold me real tight,
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.
Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin’.
Despite all the years,
Yore age keeps on hidin’.
And when you get old,
Like a ’57 Chevy,
Won’t put you on blocks
And let grass grow up heavy.
Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie,
With a RC cold drink.
We go together,
Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men they buy diamonds
From a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever,”
They explain, suave and couth.
But, I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds…
It’s a new trollin’ motor!
