spiker's blog: "Pratfalls"

So we drive into the Tesco carpark and immediately head to the "parents with toddlers" spaces coz we have the kids with us.  Unfortunately, the last space is taken, just as we approach, and I swing the car around to try to find another space.  As we pass, Jo notices that two women get out of the car, but no children at all.

"That bitch just took the last 'parent with toddlers' space without any kids", she growls.  "I'll have her!"

We get into the store, get a trolley and head for the produce section.  By now, I had already forgotten the parking incident.  Jo hadn't.  She finds her prey, examining tomatoes, and walks straight up to her, leaving me and my 12 year-old step-daughter with the baby.  "I noticed that you  took the last toddler space and you have no children.  I think that's really wrong!"

The woman reels around. "I just lost my father last week and me and my mother have just come to do a bit of food shopping and I wanted to get a space that was close", she explains.

Jo retorts, "That's no excuse.  Those spaces are intended for people with kids - it's a safety issue!  I'm sorry about your father but you shouldn't use that as an excuse!"  Sheri and I carry on with getting the vegetables as Jo's altercation runs its course and dies down.  The woman and her mother, both red-faced, skip the produce section quickly and head towards the aisles.

We carry on shopping and the incident is soon forgotten again - at least by me.  Later on, we enter the tinned soups and vegetables aisle and, at the opposite end, approaching us slowly are the two women.  I'm unaware of the two until I notice Jo's shoulders stiffen.  We continue to approach on our unavoidable course and Jo's getting progressively more tense until we meet the pair in the middle of the aisle in silence and pass each other.  Just as I was feeling a sense of relief I hear Jo blurt in her angry CAPSLOCK voice, "DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR EYEBROWS AT ME!"

Sheri and I start examining tins of soup looking for a way out, as Jo launches into another tirade at the woman, who really should have known better after her previous experience with Jo in full battle regalia.  It all descends into a verbal fray with Jo getting the upper hand and nervous shoppers and store staff avoiding the aisle altogether.  Eventually the woman and her mother beat a hasty retreat and head straight to the checkout as we carried on our shopping - Jo would never be seen to give ground and leave.  

"Didn't you want to get your say in?" she asks me with her typical quizzical glare.

"Nah, I could see that you had everything under control, Luv, and I didn't want to break your stride."