Some when my love
It was in that shadowy time between dreaming and waking up, when everything is so real that you wonder if you're really awake, but you think it's a dream. It was then that she started appearing. At first I would see her on the piano bench waiting for me to wake up. Then she would be standing next to me. Last month I could swear that I smelled her perfume. Like a subtle business card, the scent was announcing that she had been here. I tried going back to sleep to bring her back, but it wouldn't work.
Two weeks ago on Tuesday it happened! She was in bed with me! I could hear her tell me to relax and enjoy what she was about to do. Just when she had placed her lips in a tender embrace to my growing excitement; my alarm woke me up.
I've looked for her since then and I think I sense her sometimes now in the evenings, when I play my piano. I'm not sure but it feels like she's rubbing my shoulders. Even now as I write I can smell the subtle fragrance of jasmine and a hint of sandalwood. What is this supernatural event that I am experiencing?
Am I a physical being having a spiritual experience, or am I a spiritual being having a physical experience? I wonder more now, it's almost as if we are so close but separated by a few moments in time. But then again perhaps this all just a reoccurring dream? It can't be just a dream, it seems to real. It can't be a ghost, it isn't a cold or scary feeling. Could this be something that attempts to cross the barriers of time? I wonder endlessly.
Thursday morning I had quit thinking about it and was busy preparing for my day when I suddenly found myself lost.
I was lost in a large building, but somehow felt familiar, I heard some laughter down the hallway and entered a large ballroom. I saw her walk across the empty ballroom, the shear fabric of her dress shimmered in the dim lights as she walked through a door I hadn't noticed before. Following her I walked through the door and found myself outside on a pathway along a beach, the moon was low in the overcast sky and fog was getting me wet. I saw a flicker of motion to my left and followed until I could see her again.
She turned and motioned me closer. As I ran closer, the crashing of the surf roared louder and the fog was making it hard to see through my glasses. I was just about to catch up when I tripped off the edge of the boardwalk and fell face first into a shallow tide pool. My glasses hopelessly lost in the surf. Franticly searching under the water before I gave up and came up for air. That's when I heard the giggling. Blindly I stepped out of the water and started up the beach following the sound of the giggle. I was her, and she kept just out of reach. With the salt water stinging my eyes and my wet clothes feeling heavy, I gave up the chase, sat down and called to her. Please stop running, come back!
I looked in the direction she had gone only to see a very blurry foggy beach, when I felt a soft fabric rub against my cheek. I grabbed it as quickly as I could, not wishing to let her slip away again.
She laughed and said we should sit together in the moonlight on the water's edge. She took my hand and led me to the water. The overcast sky dimly lit by the moon and made blurry by my lack of vision, reminded me of scenes form black and white horror movies. With the waves crashing and the breeze flapping her dress I could barely hear her, when she said let's sit here.
We sat in the wet sand with our feet being tickled by the waves lapping the shore. She turned my head to face her and I looked closely at her green sparkling eyes, it was like swimming in the ocean. The clouds had parted and the moon lit her beautiful face,
there was moonlight in her eyes as she smiled and said she wanted to kiss me.
Her lips were cool, soft and just a bit salty from the water. Her tongue had a slight taste of spearmint and her teeth felt smooth. I felt as though I had been sleeping and suddenly woke up, my entire body was stimulated from her kiss. I put my arms around her and drew her closer. This kisses seemed to last forever and for only an instant at the same time. I wanted her more now than ever, it was if a dream had come to life.
The kiss was from heaven; it was as if for the first time, I was at peace with the universe, and myself; content and strangely spiritual. As our lips parted and I again saw the moonlight reflected in her Caribbean eyes, I asked "What is your name?"
She laughed in a musical kind of way that was erotic yet haunting. She said I already knew her name, but at the same time we would never meet. I asked her to explain her riddle because I was befuddled.
She said in another time we had been lovers for nearly a century, and were vowed to be lovers forever, but in this time... I had taken a wrong turn in the past and we never met.
While I tried to figure out how I could take a wrong turn in time, I marveled at the awesome feeling of déjà vue that washed over me in waves sending chills down my spine. I knew that I knew her, I knew that she had a small birthmark in the small of her back, I knew she liked to go swimming ever morning when we were on our ship. What ship, and why was I picturing a warm tropical bay?
Not wanting to let this slip away, I grabbed her hand and we walked on the beach, the warm waters felt good on my feet. We must have walked for hours, because I could see blurry images of trees, and water was taking on a bluish tinge. We talked about many things, mostly things from a past that I seemed to remember dimly. I was really regretting that I had lost my glasses because I wanted to see what she looked like in full sun. As the first rays of the sun were peaking over the edge of the water, she turned and said her time was up, and that we would meet again someday, and have the fun of discovering who we are again.
Suddenly my hand was empty, she was gone, the beach was gone, and I was stepping off a bus downtown and my glasses were totally fogged from the intense humidity. As the day wore on, I kept thinking about her ocean eyes and what she had said. As I check my calendar, I'm having trouble remembering if this has been going on for a few weeks or if it all happened this morning.
So until the next time I see the misty girl with the ocean eyes, I'm still wondering.
