Day two without my customary after dinner "painkiller".
Fuck maybe it's day 3.
Electrical storm wiped out every small appliance that wasn't on a surge protector.
Killed a TV and my router. No internet for half of my last day off kinda pissed me off.
Royals lost.
I dunno if I need to write, type, or email my lawyer, been afraid to lately.
I need to get off my ass, I've had this paperwork for almost 2 weeks.
I tried to taper off the drink a bit though.
Instead I've been over exercising, and been very ... bluh.
Very bluh.
Very very bluh.
Everything has been very bland and unfulfilling lately.
Like I'm drinking a gallon of water and still thirsty.
It just isn't enough any more.
I want my house.
I want my job.
I want my life.
I don't feel like I can find it here, and I'm still
stuck.
Working.
Yeah...
saving some money
getting my head on right in a safe environment.
But it just hasn't been fast enough lately.
So I'm staring at an unopened bottle of bourbon
and a dribbly bottle of beer, or another night as far away from this place as I can get with a $20 a month gas budget.
I need a big hit.
A breakout homerun.
I'm tired of batting practice and remedial coaching.