An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count
as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and
bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc,
it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with
her left, still
nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with
her teeth out, still
nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands, then
an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still
nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."