One of those fine days…ever have one? That’s the one when you arrive at work the system is down due to something in the night…(gremlins) goes bonk!, clink, clang and clump. Perhaps not all in the order and not sure how long each special noise did their thing. There thing as in making my morning a living… hmmm what is that word I am looking for? Well it escapes me for now. So how are things in your little universe? Mandy had a night like that at the plate Tuesday where as she missed everything except her turn… Pore thang came home and had been crying I could tell and soon after she let out what was bothering her (which was her inability at the plate to hit the softball even if she was holding a bass fiddle in her two hands in front of a ten foot wall made of stone and the ball set on a Tee… so I gathered by that assumption she was well on her way to struggling with this issue. I asked a stupid question and when one asks that type of question usually from a Bell gal you get a sarcastic comment back or a stupid answer back and usually the word “DUH” comes into play. You ever say something and wish you could stop time reply that sentence with a different flare and wording? Yeah, that was the thought process for me, but did not stop time and did not retract the question. My question was this, “What does your coach say about your struggles at the plate” See I know when to say some things and when not, normally and then there are those times I can read the underwear size on my undies because I have my whole leg in my mouth right up to the crotch and choking on it but wanting more. See momma did not raise a boy that does not speak his mind, which I think most everyone knows at this point in time, and I do not ever recall anyone say to me, “Tell me what you really think” Because I normally lay it all out there. Now recanting my question to her and her mood thought, hmmm Mart you got the pooch good this time. So being the dad I am I picked up a card and did what I do best… WRITE, and write I did… oh I went on about the price of tea in china and the cost of living on the French Riviera along with who was the first man on the moon and what song was playing… as most would have known I just could not stop writing. I wrote so much I went back into first gear three times and missed the clutch twice… But, I did apologize for being a dumb, dumb and mentioned my worst fear had came true I seen myself in her body trying to impress my father and was not getting nowhere fast. The preverbal wheels were turning but going backwards. Like trying to drain the swamp while up your belt-loops in alligators… oh yeah way past rectum at this point. So I like I said did the apology letter and card with two mind you get out of Jail free cards. Oh yes Mandy’s father always uses scenarios and terms at which since we are a sports minded, game playing family that all can relate to. So from the Monopoly game the “Get Out of Jail Free “card was printed off two of them. One for her so she knows she does not have to be like me… Ok let me explain that little gem. To be like me, is tough enough to be me let alone be like me. I am any opponent’s worst nightmare. Oh I am trust me on that one… I do not play customer golf, friend golf, bowling, basketball, bean bag, pool the list goes on. I am the ultimate butt bag when it comes to letting someone win to boost their self esteem. I can golf, bowl shoot a basketball with the best of them and do all this while telling a joke, NO JOKE! I mean I can talk while I am swinging, tossing a bowling ball or shooting a basketball and no one can believe what they just seen. So I am hard to rattle, imagine that…So with being able to do that I can also have people talk while I am doing that and it does not throw me… Like I said many a time… My mind works over time and I block that which I need to block out, hence-forth talking I take it in but it doesn’t detour my progress.. so see I am different in that respect. Mandy trying to gain that which I can do is almost impossible nearly and at her age… So I freed her from the jail I created as her father and I also freed myself. I mentioned further that this was her last experience with her senior year, softball, high school, friends.. of the list goes on and on… So I drop this card, letter (book) off in her convertible while she is still in school and they canceled practice so she came right out after school and seen this card on her seat and immediately knew dad was up to no good trying to cheer her up. She read it before proceeding home and I was home when she arrived. She came in the house and threw the letter down and said, “great! You made me cry again!” I thought what!!!!!!!! “It was not meant to make you cry? “ It was meant to take the pressure off and have fun, enjoy these last days of school, ball friends… because before you know it, it will be the 5 year reunion and then 10 and kids…” she stopped me and said “Dad, I love you!” we had the father daughter hug and she whips out these two get out of jail cards and starts laughing her ass off… “Can I use these for other things”…So all is well, Mandy will survive, I will survive… the game goes on, and her prom night is coming up this Saturday I will make sure there will be pictures of her and the gang at our house. Because they are all coming over and the whole bunch is doing dinner and games before prom… weird I know… but Mandy’s dad although he being competitive is a riot to play games with. I am not a sore winner or loser, I just make playing the game fun… Oh yeah… I always talk about myself in the second and third party way…it’s when I lose arguments to myself where the problems start…For now, since our system is finally up and I am getting this out like two days later… well perhaps a few hours later.. I will wish you a Good Morning, a Great afternoon and a grand evening and if by chance you ever run into a person as competitive as me… SHOOT em! Just kidding… have a great time in what ever you do… Honestly I have been know to tell jokes while swinging a golf club, it just pisses off my competitors…
A huge hug and a great pat
Mart
