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Some of you have been curious to why I am not feeling good and why I have been bummed. The answer is I have been feeling bad for a few months now and finally decided to break the silence to my parents and my boyfriend. They in turn took me to my doctor. My doctor then found a massive mass on the inside of my anal cavity. I have had to have tests done to be sure its not cancer. This has been a long week for me. I am hoping that this doesnt turn out to be cancer. But if it does, I hope that I have all of your support and caring. My fubar friends and my fubar family are the best and you can see why. I broke the news to them this week and most are dumbfounded. There needs to be more awareness to this type of cancer. Its almost the worst cancer you can have. Farrah Fawcett had this horrible disease. I hope if I have it, I dont go down the road she did with it. I love you all and thank you for your support throughout this very tough trying time. -[
There is a new game on my profile page. The first ten to give me the correct title and artist will get a prize of my choosing! Please private message me with your answers! Good Luck!
Well it certainly looks like I'm single again. Damn this is going to be a long road to get over. I need some time. I love my now ex with all my heart. I wish we didnt have to part. If you all know that Kid Rock song Im a low life, that kind of describes him. Well at least because Im so hurt it does. I dont think Im ever going to find "the one". I guess I never learn. All I do is make mistakes. I guess after I spend my time alone re evaluating what happened , maybe Ill see where Im screwing up. I just wish I could find that "good" man. I guess there arent any left out in this world.
Well today was a bit better. Last night I went and looked at a 1994 Ranger. Its a beautiful truck. The guy said if it hasnt sold by Monday he will call and let me know and maybe hold it for me when I get my money released on Tuesday. The man that I love still will not talk to me. I went out and got this little makeover, but it didnt do any good. Being abandoned sucks. My children are now feeling the effects of him abandoning us. My son has issues anyways getting close to anyone. he was starting to get close to Charles. Now he feels abandoned all over again. Hes been inconsolable for days now. I think the damage is really done. I dont think anyone is going to be able to reach him now.
Ive got a new game on my profile. Name that tune. ten people who can tell me the title and artist will get a gift of my choice.
Pm me with your guesses.
Good Luck
Its been a while since I posted a blog. In fact the last post was a few days after my near fatal semi wreck. These past four months have been horrible. He lost his job because of the wreck and now cant find work, Im still struggling to remember this wreck so I can move on, and three weeks ago I get into another wreck! This one in my own vehicle. I totaled it out. Not my fault and I got reinjured. If that cant get any worse, he decides that we need to "take a break" from each other. He just ups and abandons me. I know it may have been for the best, but now I have no one to lean on to help me through this disaster in my life. I know, get some big girl panties and move on. But I just cant simply do that. I can not move on until I can come to terms with this semi wreck that I can not remember. The docs say it could be soon, or it could wait as long as me lying on my death bed to come back to me. Either way, the longer it waits to return the more devastating it will be to me. Im already an emotional wreck. I have conteplating for some time to just end my life and be done with it, dont have to worry about this night mare anymore. I just wish someone gave a flying **** about me. But no one does.
