Yes, you read the title right. I'll be making this my last entry on this site as a whole. I'm not wanting to for one obvious reason and that's something that won't be discussed on here. Well, that one reason has two parts, but either way...same deal. I'm speechless almost. I know what I want to say, but I find it hard to make my fingers push the buttons to type it out. It's been rather a hard and difficult day, but I'm happy and sad. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and I can honestly say that was proven to me just a few minutes ago. It's hard to let go of things or someone that means soo much to you, you know? Sometimes you HAVE to do it though. If the moments spent together were that meaningful and precious, there will be more to follow. You just need patience, understanding for why things have to be done and a warm heart...That hug right before I walked out the door was probably the best hug that I've gotten in a long time and for several reasons...but the main thing was that it was full of emotion, heartfelt emotion. The type that makes you want to hold on like as if it was for dear life. I can't though...at least not for now. For that moment though I felt that nothing could hurt me, I mean nothing...and yeah, I ache now, but you know what? It's better to feel than to never have felt. She knows this, because I told her so. For once, I'm not afraid to put myself out there, speak my piece and take risks. That hug as well as just having a little chat reassured me that everything will be ok. I'm not lost, probably never was to begin with, but I can't say I didn't feel like it was. I'll be back soon...you can guarantee it. Keep me in your prayers as you'll be in mine. I can never thank you enough and will be forever in your debt. I jumped in feet first and have no regrets on doing so. You know that now and to be honest, I'm glad that I spoke up. I don't want to live my life thinking that I did or didn't do something that I'd regret and I have no regrets at all. Thank you for being you, allowing me to be me, flaws and all. That's a foundation that lifetimes are made upon which ever course you choose in life. Showing you're not perfect, you're vulnerable, you're compassion and that you're alive. Will this be my final entry? Only she knows...and if it is, then I guess I'll have to find another place to be open. ;) Always...
