Due to a request from Masokyst, any of my future blog posts that are more than just a poem or a paragraph will be posted in two parts.
The first portion of the post will be the full version, for people who actually enjoy reading what I've written and want to know the whole story.
The second portion, the condensed version, will be for Masokyst...because he's lazy like that and he will probably always know the whole story already anyway, because he's just...well, he's HIM. And that makes him special. =]
-Full Version:
I'm on the plane and headed home.
I'm not quite sure where home is anymore and I haven't been sure for quite some time. I think I lost track somewhere in 2006. Maybe it was sooner...like when my dad died. Nothing's felt completely right for me since then. I haven't been comfortable with where I am or what I do or who I've become. I've longed for change and new direction.
I stepped off that plane in Phoenix and it was so simple to fall into a pattern with friends there.
It started with climbing into Masokyst's truck and listening to the rough cadence of his voice for hours as he drove and complained. "What the fuck are they thinking closing down this fucking highway?" and, to the radio, "This motherfucking song sucks!" He curses just as much, if not more, than I do. And it's fucking wonderful.
And my Rica...so sweet and cute and full of energy. She was a lot of fun to tickle.
And Jesi, who started out so quiet and mousy and ended up holding my hand as we crossed the street...and being daring enough to snap his picture when he wasn't paying attention.
And, of course, there was the insanity of Nyssa and Tim and Dave. I won't even go into that here.
I hadn't told anyone this before I left...but there was one more reason for this trip. I had recieved a job offer, actually a pretty decent one, that would require me to relocate to that area. I didn't even tell Masokyst this until I'd been there a few days. In his typical manner, he stated that this omission could be considered as having been a lie. But really, it just didn't seem relevant. I went down there with the attitude that this was going to be just a short vacation where I could visit old and new loved ones. Nothing more.
I am coming back relaxed and refreshed, already missing the place and the people I just left.
And seriously considering that job offer.
And, as I type, the miles add up. I half-ass pay attention to an in-flight movie and I wish I could bust a u-turn in this plane the same way Masokyst would in his truck every time he passed up where he was supposed to turn [which was often].
Why does the distance between where I have to be right now and where I want to be right now have to be so great?
Eh. I'm pretty sure I'll be back soon enough.
-Condensed Version [Just for Masokyst]:
I ♥ you. You say "fuck" a lot.
I ♥ V1RUS. She's ticklish.
I ♥ Jesi. She held my hand.
I might take that job.
Everything I want is just barely out of my reach. I wish I had a positive ape index like you do, sir. Then maybe I could reach it.
Here's a cute little kitty because I know you ♥ kitties:
