To Whom It May Concern
There are so many things left unsaid between us. So many things ignored. I cant keep doing this to myself. I cant keep doing this. I need to clear my heart and my mind. I need to confess.
I know you think I lied and hurt you on purpose, devised some evil plan. You think I wanted to keep you. Honey I never had you, you were never mine to keep. How could I have ever lost something that wasnt mine to lose?
So here is my confession. I did lie to you. Yet, more than lying to you I lied to myself. I hurt you yes, but I hurt me more. I told you that you couldnt hurt me when in the end you did. I never expected to care what you thought or said. I never expected to care about you at all. I never planned it that way. I felt myself being drawn to you. I found myself thinking about you more and more and I didnt know how to make it stop. I didnt want it to stop. It was comforting to think of you.
I had found myself in a position that I couldnt handle. I was falling for someone that I shouldnt, couldnt fall for. There was no hope for the two of us, things were too complex . . . Too unknown. I fought the feeling, I kept it hidden . . . Even from myself. I saw no reason to fight and make things worse. I just told myself that my mind was preoccupied and there were no feelings for you. I never mentioned it to you, how could I?
I lied to myself and hurt myself much more than I did you. I knew things were over between us, yet I still kept my silence. I never came clean, I never let you know, I never confessed. There was no trust there, nothing to base anything upon, no foundation for anything . . . It was just a lesson learned. I opened my eyes, I suffered, I moved on.
So, that is my confession to you whoever you are.
