Not much to say, not much to tell.
Plenty to ask.
For some reason
I can see myself dancing with you to this waltz.
It's sad and its sweet, but its also determined, brash.
I in my two dollar suit, you wreathed in the gold perfection of my dreams.
I can't even two step, but it only takes one to fall.
How did this happen?
And where were you, when it all came down on me?
When I fell, when the darkness crashed.
When my whole life exploded like a smoke filled bubble.
No one was there to catch me.
Was that how it was supposed to be.
The lost months,
the lost hairs,
the lost mind,
the lost boy,
was this how it had to be?
Slipped, and gone
for so very long.
And in that darkness, I cast a light.
Like an inverted shadow, guiding me out.
If I looked up,
I would see it stretched no further than my self.
But I was so fixated on chasing myself from there,
that I hadn't noticed this world of light and rapturous sound I emerged into
such joy that I knew only in...
no such word exists in the language of men.
Only their hearts can sing it
and mine still beats too cold and afraid to carry that tune.
How I wish
this wasn't the way things had to be.
How I wish
I was another man, in love with another woman.
How I wish
I was so strong and balanced, that I could never fall, never be tested, never fail.
But in failing...
did I become stronger than that impossible Adonis I want to be?
Or am I just an impotent Narcissus
licking his wounds by the stream?
Cast aside your doubts
silence your musings
live not for hope.
Live for the callouses on your mind.
Bear these tragedies not with prideful humility,
or self deprecating impunity.
Instead, live for that which you've earned.
Have you earned love?
Have you earned success?
Have you earned respect?
What you've worked for is a chance.
The second step in the waltz.
When you're dancing with yourself,
unaware of the third step,
and not anticipating the repeat of the first.
You're not ready,
and I don't know if and when you will be.
But for now there's hope...
right after I finished telling you not to live for only that.
The gun is loaded, the hammer pulled
Whether hope succeeds or succumbs,
determines which direction the barrel is pointed.
Are you prepared to fall again?
Are you still strong enough.
And where will she be
when you innevitably do?
She?
When did that start again?
Waltz my boy.
You never stop dancing, just try to keep up.
As I rejoice in the onset of autumn,
my life steps out of winter.
