A's blog: "This is who I am."

I can't breathe. I feel like I'm trapped in this vicious cycle that I can't seem to break free from. I can't see. I keep spinning and spinning. I can't hear. It's like I'm inside a cave but there's absolutely no sound. I'm cold and I'm alone and I have nothing and no one to hold on to. Everyone around me is blissfully happy. They've found what they're looking for and I'm just floating through. Smiles and nods and nice gestures. All the things that are expected from a girl like me. I'm happy for them. I truly am. But, I despise them at the same time. So quickly it can be taken from you. So quickly that you can't even see it until it's already passed and you've been replaced. You're left reeling while they're moving onward and upward with the person who's swept them away from you. Suddenly you've been replaced. Promises made weren't promises kept after all. Then again, promises are made to be broken. Isn't that what people say? I don't know anymore. I keep thinking that this is all some nasty dream, and I'm going to wake up and none of this will have happened, but I know it's not a dream. Dreams can't hurt this badly. Dreams can't make you feel so completely alone, so completely shattered. Well, I was the fool...once again. It's the price you pay, I suppose.