Have you ever asked yourself that question? I have asked this of myself so many times and it always makes me laugh. I have decided that I am where I should be according to my fatalistic mindset. You?
It's been a rough year but I am still standing. I have much to reflect on and more to give thanks for, including my closest friends who have taught me much about myself. I have thought about the growth that has gone on this year and albeit painful, I have learned so much about myself. I think one has to realize through their "failures" that some good can come. I think for me risking leaving something that wasn't quite right but was safe was the hardest thing I've done in my lifetime.
There are days when I still question if I did the right thing, does anyone ever really know what the right thing is? I just know at the end of the day, I want more for myself and want to feel that I want to give more of myself to someone. I want a genuine happiness and love surrounding me. Even though men have such a different makeup than woman, I want a man who at the end of the day shows me that I am it for him and he for me. I've never been one who has needed to be wined and dined but just simple things like someone tuning into my emotions, knowing when to put there hands on my shoulders and remind me why I live this crazy existence, and one who is going to work on keeping the spark alive by sneaking up behind me and whispering in my ear......
I think we all want love and I think communication is the key to all of it. You should be able to share everything with your partner and not feel like judgement is coming. You should be able to trust and not play games, not waste time and kick the frickin pink elephant clear outside your living room and house for that matter!
So as I sit here and think where I'm at in my life right now and even though so much of my life is uncertain at the moment, I am certain of some things. I have great family support, my loves, and I have the knowledge that I can make it on my own. I am a smart woman with a good head on my shoulders and I am a fabulous mother. I will make it. I will find it. I will have it. Be thankful and live everyday better than yesterday.
