1) NUDITY
>
>I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a
>woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
>naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from
>the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
>
>2) OPINIONS
>
>On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from
>his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are
not
>necessarily those of his parents."
>
>3) KETCHUP
>
>A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
>struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
the
>phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
>hitting the bottle."
>
>4) MORE NUDITY
>
>A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker
>room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
>grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement
>and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy
>before?"
>
>5) POLICE # 1
>
>While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
>interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
my
>uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
>writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
the
>police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,"
she
>said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my
shoe?"
>
>6) POLICE # 2
>
>It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
>station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and
>I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he
>asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
>towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
>
>7) ELDERLY
>
>While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
>shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She
>was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
>particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
>staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
myself for
>the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The
>tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>
>8) DRESS-UP
>
>A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party, as they so
often
>did. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you
>shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" ?"You know that it
>always gives you a headache the next morning. "
>
>9) DEATH
>
>While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard
>the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
his
>5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
>proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and
cotton
>batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased.
>The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
>sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father
always
>said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into
>the hole he goooes."
>
>10) SCHOOL
>
>A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting
>my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and
they
>won't let me talk!"
>11) BIBLE
>
>A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered
>through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked
>up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had
been
>pressed in between the pages.
>"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got
there,
>dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I
think
>it's Adam's underwear.