K so...yes..i'm single but guess what? I despise it! My one night stand thing was fun but yeah..it's not something i'm in to. I have gone on a date recently..and it sucked. The guy wasn't as interesting as I thought he was. There was no 'click' and I felt bad cause I think he is still interested in me but i'm not feeling it. If there isn't a click then I can't just force myself to be interested. I'm sorry but that's how it is with me. That's how it is for probably everyone. I'm frustrated and tired of playing the same role of being the single one. I go out and have fun with friends and that's fine. I am just bored with the fact that everyone else has that someone though. I've been single more in my life than taken. When I go out with friends they want me to go to the movies with them or something and well I end up feeling like the third wheel. That does get old after a while ya know. They get all cute and affectionate in front of me and all it does is make me jealous. I know I shouldn't let that get to me but i've dealt with it so much that it just does. The only guys that I find are interested even the slightest bit in me...are not my type. I have the old men that flock to me when i'm at a bar or at work cause apparently I have this sign on my forehead that says 'I love old guys.' I get the guys that are still obsessed with playing video games...or computer stuff that I have no clue what they're talking about..or that are into anime..ect ect. That stuff is boring to me no offense. Now,guys that are into different kinds of music like country and not just one certain type of music,are laid back,funny,sweet,smart,sarcastic...I wouldn't mind that. Yes excuse me for wanting someone that has some of the characteristics of Mike. That's what I fell head over heels for though. So that's what I know I want. Someone with that kind of personality and those kind of interests. I don't want someone who is gonna use me and lie to me. I just want...someone who will treat me the way I should be treated(respectfully),who will go bowling with me or play a pinball game with me now and then,who will talk to me who knows how many times a day just cause they want to hear my voice and check up on me,someone who is going to actually care about me,who will make me laugh and smile when I need it,curl up and watch a movie with me,keep me safe...can pick my ass up when I fall asleep watchin tv or just because, a little muscle maybe and taller than me is always a plus..has no issues with me not having the perfect body..but well that's too much to ask for right? Tell me that someday I will get all of that but ya know what i'm gonna say. I'm tired of being alone and not having someone that gives me that feeling. I love getting that click feeling,the butterflies,the sudden blushes when they say something sweet to me that i'm not used to hearing...it makes me happy. I never get to have those feelings,that's why i'm always in the moods that I am in. You guys think it's all just from work or family probably but it isn't. Most people would think 'yay,i'm single!' me on the other hand,hates it like the plague. I am more happy when I have someone to love and be with and know that they love me back. One night stand crap is worthless to me because well,I still feel empty afterwards. There's no satisfaction out of it for me really. Just oh yay,I ended my dry spell of sex. I'm just fed up with having that empty spot there. If I had a guy in my life I would probably be a lot happier. I'm done bitching now so you can return to your daily routines and what not. Just had to get it out of my system for a little.
