elle's blog: "Random Goodies"

I put this together one day quite a while ago, from various lists I'd seen online. I'm just an amateur myself, but even so, several of these describe me perfectly!! You know you're a Photographer if.... • 1 GB of memory lasts most people a month but barely lasts you the afternoon. • A local shop (or bar) keeps your tab under “photographer”. • Everywhere you go you’re thinking, “Now that would make a good picture!” • Instead of sleeping in, you get up earlier on your days off just to catch the good light.... or alternatively, instead of going out at night you go night-shooting instead • No one else brings a camera to an event if they know you’re coming. • On bus rides you sit besides the window instead of your spouse. • On those occasions when you haven't brought – because you couldn't, or you thought you shouldn't bring – your camera, you fidget and curse under your breath. • People show extra love and interest to you at a special event, and keep saying “You will email them to me, right?” • PS7 is a software program and not a school you attended as a child. • Sometimes you're blue because you can either afford the holiday, or the lens that would be oh-so-perfect for it! • The day seems gloomy and you feel a bit sad, and going out and hunting for good pictures brightens your whole day. • When talking to a friend, you step to one side so that the lamp standard doesn't grow out of his head. • When you're on a photo trip, you spend your evenings filing and submitting images and writing articles. • You are using a urinal for its intended purpose, and you notice that the reflections from the halogen lighting above create some interesting abstract shapes in the bowl ... and you seriously consider photographing them. • You are willing to carry a backpack of equipment around, just in case you see that perfect shot. • You ask strangers to turn around, step back and tilt their head a bit… and you’re not carrying your camera. • You ask your wife if she can ‘just push it back in a little bit’ because you were busy changing from your 16mm fisheye to your best macro when the baby's head broke through. • You buy lenses you will never use. • You can crouch down on the ground, and then rise back up to standing, in a blink of an eye, without losing your focus. • You can find a picture of every person you have ever met but not one of yourself. • You can stand on a broken wall and keep yourself absolutely still. • You can turn around any conversation, whatever the topic, into one about photography. • You can walk backwards as easily as you can walk forwards. • You choose airlines based on carry on baggage allowance. • You date someone based on how happy they are posing for pictures. • You delete more photos in a week than most people make all year. • You don't remember what year you joined NPS or CPS. • You draw two thumbs down on the front page photo of your newspaper. • You dream at f/11. • You go on a hike with 10 pounds of food and water, and 15 pounds of camera gear. • You have enough camera bags in your closet to pack up your entire house. • You have thousands of pictures and you’re not in any of them. • You keep getting lost all the time in a group trip. • You know what aperture-priority means. • You literally dream about new equipment. • You look at a gradient of a clear day's sky and try to find spots on the sensor. • You look at a scene with one eye closed and squint with the other to judge contrast and exposure… without a camera. • You look at different places and try to time the focus speed of your eyes. • You need just one more lens. • You own lots of bags and backpacks but you only have one that is for carrying anything apart from photographic equipment. • You ‘pan’ with the birds flying by. • You plan all your vacations based on how well they will photograph. • You put your digital film wallet in your pants pocket in the morning even before your car keys. • You refuse an alcoholic beverage with the justification, “I can't, I'm photographing”. • You run home half way through your child’s sports day to get the 'right' lens. • You say, “I have no lens to use,” while standing in front of your collection of 15 lenses. • You stand in a field for 5 hours waiting for the correct snowfall to drop for the perfect landscape shot • You start looking at the keyhole before opening the door. • You stop and look at the wine bottle advertising shots on the side of bus stops wondering how they lit ALL the gold leaf ALL the way across the label equally. • You think it's a pity there's no vertical movies. • You think of your sunglasses as your polarisers. • You think, “Are my eyes f/1.0 or f/1.2 wide-open?” • You thought of a monopod version of the tripods in war of the worlds, jumping around with one leg. • You try to blur the background with your eyes • You watch the defocused background instead of the movie • You wish your camera equipment cost less so that your insurance would cost less. • You’re looking into the kitchen sink, filled with dirty dishes, and find you’re liking the shapes being created with the hamburger grease on the water. • You’ve been up before dawn or out in the freezing cold or even done something semi-dangerous… all for a photograph. • You’ve crawled on the ground to get a shot of something rusty. • Your camera equipment is worth more than your car. • Your daughter wants you to photograph her wedding instead of walking her down the aisle. • Your family cringes every time you say, “I'll be right there, I just need to take a couple shots of this.” • Your family doesn’t recognize you without a camera covering your face. • Your friends ask you to shoot a family Christmas portrait for them as a favor. • Your grandchildren call you grandma camera-face!! • Your heart races when you are on the same street as B&H. • Your spouse is not surprised when you come home with dirt all over your clothes. • A Victoria’s Secret catalogue arrives in the mail, and you try to reverse engineer the lighting setup from the reflection in the bikini model's sunglasses. • You're happy when the clouds obscure the sun on a hot day (especially when trying to shoot people pictures). • You're the only one *not* taking pictures of a great vista because the lighting is all wrong.