So I am sitting here, extremely sick and jamming to the VampireFreaks Music Player (If I lay in bed much longer, I'll be as flat as the stupid thing, I've already got the shape starting lol). I missed work today I was so sick. Its been a rough week emotionally on me.
Lets see, it got so bad I nearly gave up. I won't go into details on it exactly but lets just say I was wacked in the head with stress and run down and just plain nowhere near my normal self.
I'd taken notice of the fact that most of my journal entries have been low level, not cheery like I like. Tooooo many things added up and created a different me that few will ever see.
Luckily I have total trust is MrPeteyTypeDude and he got me holding on by a thread.
I'm still down in spirits for the most part but I'm beginning to think that this week has been so bad due to the fact I was getting sick as well as I ran outta my meds again the other day and can't get them til Friday (didn't think of that until a little bit ago). Also got the female thing kicking my arse and a couple lumps mixed with heatrash (one of the banes of being fat is skin rubbing on skin getting it all heat rashy and painful to say the least). The lumps has Sue telling me to get it checked out but I got so sick today I wouldn't have been able to make it back to the doctors today to save my life (I had a visit yesterday and that was soo stressful, I broke down in his office and let him know what I thought of how his place was run etc. He didn't know of some of the issues, like the transfering my old doc's medical records and he took care of that by telling his secretary to send them now, will see how that went tomorrow. Needless to say I didn't even think about the lump issue).
Anywhoo, lots of little things slammed at what all seemed at 1 time and its been a week from hell.
But a little bit of good did happen concerning getting more information to get me approved for the gastric surgery....My sleep apnea doctor wrote a letter to my fam doc and the surgeon and its already been received and my fam doc told me it says the sleep apnea doctor recomends I get an extreme amount of weight off type thing.
Another strike against me concerning health issues brings another plus to encouraging the insurance company to accept me as a candidate. So thats 4 doctors so far. Hope like hell its enough and is enough now to get the ball rolling a hell of a lot faster.....Before I break totally.
I can't help it. I'm a Leo and I truely do carry the weight of the world on me at times and it breaks me down when it gets to be too much. I think thats why I'm getting sicker more and more often. The more stressed out I am, the more often I get sick. I been holding a lot in as well.
Oh hell a massive thunderstorm is hitting (I've got headphones on with music full blast, yea I know, bad for ears but helps me at times, and I'm hearing and feeling the thunder/lightening strikes). I wish I wasn't so sick so I could go outside and enjoy it!!! I LOVE massive summer storms....standing outside as the wind and rain whip ya so hard ya weave and at times when its really bad get damned near knocked on your ass lol, the smell of the fresh rain...mmmm makes me smile just remembering past storms.
They make me feel alive. Theres nothing as theraputic as facing Mother Natures rage and beauty in it :) Walking a beach at night with wind storms whipping the waves into a white, frothy mess comes in a close second, specially when the waves and the wind are so heavy it damned near pulls ya into the water lmao. LOVE IT!
Storms on hot summer nights are the absolute best time in life! And I'm stuck in the house sick lol, how ironic.
THANK YOU LADY GODDESS FOR THE TORMENT! LMAO
More to be written later.
