Written on 10/11/2005
I'm on Cloud 9
And things are unclear
Do I want this or not?
Is this something I can hold on to?
I'm afraid this feeling will go away,
Afraid this isn't real.
So afraid it's gonna hurt
all over again.
Can't get this off my mind
and it scares me so much.
Don't wanna feel these feelings,
but it's starting again
Will I build walls?
Can they be broken down?
My defenses rearing their ugly head
Keeping me from feeling at all.
Back and forth my senses go
Up and down my heart beats
All stirring an uneasiness about me
Will I continue to be who I am?
Fearing for the welfare of my heart
Feeling vulnerable
So confused
I protect myself and say nothing at all
Feel nothing at all
Refusing to let history repeat.
