Copernicus
Four hundred years ago people knew little about our
lumpy universe. They thought that the earth was the
center of the entire beef broth and that the sun and all of the
assicles revolved around it. But then a/an
cakesakian named Copernicus discovered the truth.
The earth revolves around the eatball
one times a year.
Copernicus, whose last name was Blackhead, was born
in Warsaw, and he used one of the first sloppy
telescopes, which was invented by Gigglepiss.
This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of
minced meat stuck on each end of a/an tuna casserole.
In 1600 an Italian foot waxer named Galileo
expanded Copernicus's farty theories, but during the
Inquisition in Italy he was craptastically arrested. After
flopping for six months in jail, Galileo was
forced to glop.
