I'm at a funny place right now...
my self confidence is growing by the day. All my going to the gym is paying off and I'm noticing that I have more muscle and less fat. Girls have been noticing me (even) more than before.
But at the same time, I'm feeling more and more insecure. I'm still feeling the need to drive myself to perfection. I despise certain things about myself I cannot change, and that pisses me off to no certain extent.
I'm having trouble bringing myself to eat much lately. This is only half related to my insecurity, but half because of all my stomache problems. Hell, I had a bagel this morning and was writhing in agony not too long after. I just had a fat blaster smoothie... I'm waiting to see how I'll react to that. Hopefully not too bad, as it's fruit and ice.
I've noticed I've been sleeping better since I moved back in with my parents. I feel more rested when I wake up, and I haven't needed a nap like I did every day at the apt.
This week will have the first paycheck I put towards my house. Only $400 a month, but that's still a lot more than I had to put towards one before!
My house goals are a 3/2, I'm not too particular about where, except I don't want to be in the ghetto. With a 3/2, I'll be able to have 2 room-mates. I'll be picking them carefully. The beauty part of having my own home is I'll be able to kick out anyone I don't like and not be stuck with an unwanted room-mate again.
I guess right now I'm happier and feel better than I have in a long time.... I just still believe I can do better.
Oh, and I want to get a new tattoo in a week or two....
but I'm debating on what. Any suggestions?
