Dashing and handsome
Model material.
His smile had a twinkle I tell ya.
Ah if only I was younger....
He came to me one night.
I felt the bubble arrive. I can't explain a bubble to anyone. You do what you do and know what you know only between those with you in harmony.
Fighting insanity.
Overdosing on nyquil and god knows what else.
Ready to fight a friend that lived with me.
For no real reason..just insantity, anger.
The knives came out.
The words were just as cutting.
I stepped between... thrown to the bed....
He looked at me as I sat up.
I looked at him.
"Ryan stop" calmly-looking directly at his soul.
That was all it took.
His knife dropped quickly
To his knees he dropped
his head into my lap...
What was wrong? My Ryan.
His friend left the room.
His sobs were wild...
Maniacal.
His pulse raced.
I pulled up his face..
I saw him insane...
completely out of control..
I brushed the tears...
As a mother would
Who do I call? How do I call?
Call his mother?
Call an ambulance...
So much to do and yet the bubble was there.
I was to calm him.
I know this.
How?
He will be ok. How did I know this?
He came to me.
I talked to him calmly.
told him he is loved so much.
Over and over...
The bubble popped...no longer just he and I
His friend returned to the room
thinking this was about him.
"Why the hell is he crying cause I would kill him?"
"This is not about you"
"The knives were not about you, the words were about you only"
Ryan began gripping my tighter, clawing...
weeping softly I felt his pulse.
It slowed.
His glazed eyes returned... He had passed the worst.
He lay in my lap at my knees for an hour at least...letting it out.
His friend began to understand...
Ryan spoke to him and said he was truly sorry...
then a short love fest
Where the hell was his mother to let him get like this? His father?
Mother off in some pious religious cult and the father moves to Arizona with no warning...
He came to me. He needed me and I was there.
As his mother I will always be there...
Why me.
I will always wonder.
At least I know his heart will continue to mesmerize me forever now.
No more Nyquil bouts... Someone to listen and appreciate his art.
An open ear for everything needed and an open heart for love he needs.
I love you my Ryan. Truly I believe you may have saved me....
