Deacon Songs's blog: "wtf?"

The air was thick, hard to breathe and heavy in his lungs like drowning in a sea of anticipation. His eyes focused steadfast on his subject from across the street. He was feeling like a Bengal tiger stalking its prey in the wild, waiting for the moment of glorious pursuit. But also feeling playful, like a young cub, with the inner most desire to slap its siblings in spar. Watching intently, intensely and preparing for contact, not a mortal chase to the death, just a scare.
 Michelle sits at the second brown checkered table from the left ,in front the wide windows of the modest coffee shop. Her companion is an unknown female with short blond hair, with pink high lights.  The predator watches completely unnoticed as if he were invisible. The dark figure stands at a transit stop under the veil of the weather barrier littered with posters and advertisement, with the stagnant odor of urine prevalent.
 Wicked fantasies run thru his mind of slicing her and strangling the breathe out of her, while admiring her body. The flesh being so tender and creamy, his only perverse desire is to desecrate the beauty, to damage the skin and ruin its perfection. It is nearly orgasmic to watch the bright lights dim and flicker during that moment the grim reaper comes and makes his undeniable claim his helpless victims soul.
 His interest is not sexual, although his victims are nearly always women, but in tampering with the one thing he has felt he has never had, and most certainly will never have. The feeling of being attractive, beautiful and desired has eluded him since his father had taken his innocence when he was a ripe 7 years old. His father would make him wear girls dress’s and panties and do the unimaginable to a 7 year old. Now he blames beauty and sexuality for his relentless pain and solitary agony.
 When he was 13, it was the last time he would let his father penetrate him, and when he struck his father after being ordered to get in the short skirt and knee high stockings, his father just laughed.  When his fathers Buck knife sliced his face from chin to brow, tackled him and forced himself inside him, he was so angry with himself for being stupid. It was the last time his father assaulted him sexually, and the last time his father would be alive.
 After the rape, he boiled over like a pot of oil, popping and stirring emotionally, waiting for the sound of drunken snoring. He hoped he would pass out before the evil bitch stepmother would come home, so he wouldn’t have to work up the courage to commit two murders this winter night.
 Becoming more and more angry, it became apparent that the time to kill would be soon. His desire to vent his steam and insure his place in hell, next to satan himself was growing by the minute. His attack would be enjoyed to the point of sexual stimulation. He would need to hire a hooker after he was finished with the ritual. And if he couldn’t get satisfaction or obtain an erection with the hooker, he would surely kill again that night.
 As he watched the two beautiful women in the coffe shop, he would plan his sacrifice in his disturbed mind to the most minute detail. She laughed with her hands over her mouth, as if she were ashamed of her perfectly white and straight teeth. He would cut her lips off, and keep them as a souvenir in his K Swiss shoe box hidden in his shed, behind the house. She constantly twirled her hair when she as intently listening to her lunch partner. He would definitely over take her by pulling her brown, almost black, beautiful wavy hair throwing her on her bed. He imagined her breasts, bare, naked, and wagered with him self the color of her nipples and would definitely have to inspect them for augmentation scars.  And as she frowned, he could see that her forehead had a wavy pattern of wrinkles engraved in her pale skin. He would memorize these lines of beauty and try to recreate them with his scalpel, that he obtained at the medical surplus store on the lower east side of town.
 His anticipation was getting to be too much, and he realized that he was getting an erection in his jogging pants and it showed. People were beginning to notice, or was it that he finally noticed and was actually erect for sometime now? Once again he was embarrassed and once again in the lew of a woman. He would surely take out every ounce of humiliation out on this brown haired girl from salt lake city. That fucking cunt!