as i sit here on the dark side of town and yet im too far from home on this spring like morning from the waking of the rain that slowly has stop and moved away from this area that i have settled in overnight and the day before to wonder my mind and brainstorm what my thoughts that run threw my mind on a wet spring like night/morning.many thoughts come to my mind as the rest sleep onto the night and wake up in the bright sunny morning as i would sit here and wait for dawn to arrive. sometimes it kills me inside for the choices i have made it life and i almost feel like there not much i can change or do to myself to get myself being a better person but changing some of my ways and stepping up and becoming more of an active postive person then an negative emo,sad lonely person as i sit here and write about from day in and day out whenever i feel the need to sit here and go on about things or feeling i feel each night of the week. sadly i have been called everything in the book and many more but as u read all my poerty u make the judgement cause my own option could mean nothing but a smack in the face for a wake up call but sometimes i feel that could be the jump start to get me back in the direction i was heading on until many things has thrown me off to the side and make me feel like its not worth it anymore.i just feel like i sometimes have a split part of me or 2 sides of myself that comes out now and then when the time is needed but i know many things i have to build for myself and i know many will say confidence and determination and i would say u definely have that one right from the get go cause those 2 things i try to drive on besides the passion for the active things i do to keep myself in line and try to get myself in shape as well to know i can build and grow to become someone i want to be and not be something less then i have been working on to become...yet i just may need someone or people stand behind me as well and help me go threw this together and in the end we all could be stronger if we all pull together but i guess i will never know until people or others look on and read these poerty i write each time whenever i feel its needed but one day it could pay off for me and until next time i will leave it as that.......